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Friday, May 30, 2008

4 Traits Of A "Cool Guy"

Here's Are 4 Traits Of A "Cool Guy"...

I get a lot of questions from guys asking all
kinds of questions about how to behave around
women.

In fact, this might be one of the areas that
guys want to know the most about.

I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past
year or so about the concept of being "cool".

In other words, I've been watching people
(myself included) to see if I could figure out why
some people are considered "cool" while some are
considered "not-so-cool"... and more importantly,
how to use this idea to have more success with
women.

So what is a "cool guy"?

And what is it about a guy who's "cool" that
makes women feel more attracted to him than an
"uncool" guy?

Let me tell you a few quick mini-stories about
guys I've known who were UN-cool.

One friend I used to have LOVED to argue with
people. He would start arguments about anything
and always take the opposite perspective on every
topic. He did this with women all the time too. I
think he felt like he was coming across as smart
when he argued. Guess what? Women hated it, and
ran as soon as he started in. His guy friends
hated it too. He was UN-cool because his
insecurity was so strong, that he had to argue to
get attention.

Another friend I have always tries to do nice
things and favors for women he likes. As soon as
he meets a woman he likes, he tries to find
something he can do for her. Of course, he then
gets upset when the woman doesn't return the
feelings of affection... and he acts upset and
"taken advantage of". This, of course, makes women
run away. As you can probably guess, he's trying
to manipulate women with favors. And women resent
him for it. Women don't think he's cool, and they
avoid him.

I know one guy who loves to tell women how
beautiful they are, buys them drinks and dinners,
and pursues them with the "You're the greatest
thing in the world and I'm going to chase you
around and try to buy your attention". And even
though he's doing a lot of "nice" things for the
women he's interested in, he can't keep one around
for more than a date or two. Even his guy friends
think that he needs to calm down and act more
"cool" in general.

Now, all three of the guys I've mentioned above
have different problems... but the way I see it,
they're all strangely related.

Here are a few more quick stories about guys I
know who are "cool".

One guy I know always has girls around him. In
fact, I don't think I've ever seen him WITHOUT at
least one girl with him. Usually he has three or
four girls with him... and sometimes up to 10 or
12. He always makes fun of the girls, teases them,
and treats them like good friends who he's
comfortable enough to bust on. He's not rich, he
doesn't buy things for women, and he doesn't kiss
up to them. He DOES, on the other hand, make it
his business to know where the "cool" places are
in town, where to go out, and who to call for the
"inside track" on where the hot spots are. Then he
shows up at the door to these hot spots with five
women. EVERYONE who knows him thinks of him as a
"cool" guy.

I have another friend that is really amazing
with women. But he does something that's rather
unusual when he's around women. He kind of IGNORES
them when he first meets them. If he's out with
friends, and one of them introduces a female
friend to him, he'll shake her hand and say "hi",
then TURN AWAY and go back to whatever he was
doing. Somehow, the women that are around him
always want to talk to HIM. And all the guys he
knows think of him as one of the coolest guys
around.

Finally, I have one friend who literally says
things to women like, "You probably wouldn't like
me. I don't really have relationships with women.
Our relationship will probably go no further than
the physical..." If you've seen my Advanced DVD
Program, you probably remember him saying these
exact words when I'm interviewing him. He's so
calm and laid back around women that they have to
pursue HIM... and it happens a lot. He's
blunt, direct, and honest about whatever is on his
mind. He doesn't chase women, buy them things, or
smother them with compliments... and yet, they
love him. And he has a crew of guy friends who all
love him and think he's one of the "coolest" guys
in the world.

Quick Note: If you'd like to see me talking to
and interviewing "cool" guys who KNOW how to
attract women, you should take a minute and go
check out my Advanced Dating Techniques Program.
Seeing how these guys communicate is worth the
price of admission ALONE...


So what is it that separates the "cool" guys
from the "uncool" guys?

What is "cool"?

What is it that makes a few rare people the
kind of people that EVERYONE wants to be around?

What is it about UN-cool guys that repels other
people, and makes women run away?

And what is it about this element that I'm
calling "cool" that makes guys who have it attract
more women than they can handle?

THE DEFINITION OF COOL

I personally think that being "cool" comes down
to:

1) Being independent

2) Being indifferent

3) Being funny

4) Being socially adjusted

Before I get into each of these in detail, I
want to mention something...

Usually, I tend to stick to techniques to help
you meet more women, or give you advice to get
past limiting beliefs, etc.

I've realized recently that there are a few
BASIC, FUNDAMENTAL things that we, as guys, need
to really "get" about interacting with other
people before we start trying to learn advanced
stuff, like how to approach and meet women. If you
don't have some of the basic things handled, all
the fancy techniques in the world won't fix your
problem.

So stick with me here, this is important.

OK, so let's talk about the four components
that I mentioned above.

BEING INDEPENDENT

Independent is the OPPOSITE of "dependent".

When you act "dependent", you lean on others,
you look to them for approval, you ask what they
think before you make a decision, you tend to want
to stay physically close to them, and your
feelings tend to depend on what others feel and
think of you.

When you act INDEPENDENT, you lean back, you do
things because YOU decided you wanted to, you
don't ask others what they think - instead you
decide yourself, you are fine walking away from
your friends for awhile when you're out, and your
feelings are controlled by what YOU think, not
what others think.

A "dependent" person will go into a bar with
friends, stick close to them all night, ask what
everyone else is drinking before they order, get
upset easily about things that others say, and
constantly be looking for attention and approval
in some way.

An INDEPENDENT person, on the other hand, will
go into a bar with friends and be more likely
to... walk away and look around the place ALONE to
see who's there - and feel fine about leaving
their friends for awhile and striking up a
conversation with a stranger... They'll order a
drink if they want, or water if they want - and
not care what everyone else is drinking... They'll
be cool and calm no matter what happens - even if
others are getting upset around them... And, most
importantly, they aren't looking to others for
attention and approval. They're doing their own
thing, and enjoying whatever happens.

BEING INDIFFERENT

Most people in this world are ATTACHED to the
outcomes of things. They're constantly worrying
about what's going to happen... and talking about
the future in a fearful, uncertain way.

This type of person always wants to know what
other people think of them, and they're worrying
about what they should do so other people will
like them. Unfortunately, this almost ALWAYS comes
across as INSECURITY.

An INDIFFERENT person, on the other hand, just
goes about life and takes things as they come.

The indifferent person is INDIFFERENT to the
outcome of whatever situation they're in.

If it's a man, and he's approaching a woman, he
will be OK with whatever happens. If she's nice to
him, great. If she's uptight, no problem. If she's
rich, famous, and beautiful... and starts coming
on to him, fine. No big deal.

When you are ATTACHED to the outcome of a
situation, it makes you act all kinds of freaky.
You pause, act nervous, hold back, look for
approval, act insecure... and any of 100 other
unattractive things.

On the other hand, when you're INDIFFERENT to
the outcome, it makes you MAGNETIC. Especially
when it comes to women and dating. Indifference is
the ultimate way to show a LACK of insecurity in
life.

BEING FUNNY

Humor is magic.

It's a complete mystery why we find things
"funny" and why we "laugh".

Crying because someone died makes some logical
sense. It's a bad thing, and crying expresses a
negative emotion.

But when you see a dog run into a window
because he doesn't see it... and he gets a
confused look on his face, you LAUGH. What's with
that?

Humor is interesting to me, in that if you're
funny, it makes people FEEL GOOD inside. They
laugh, and it triggers positive feelings.

If you're not naturally funny, it's a great
skill to learn. Read books. Watch live comedy. Do
whatever it takes to learn how to be funny.

Most of the "coolest" guys I know are wickedly
funny. Some of them are only funny on occasion...
but they "get it"... and when they do make a joke,
it's DAMN funny.

BEING SOCIALLY ADJUSTED

I know that this sounds funny, but most of the
people I know who are "UN-cool" are not very
adjusted socially.

They lack a certain something in the "social
skills" department that makes it OBVIOUS to others
(and especially to women) that they don't know how
to relate very well to other people. They just
never learned how to make others feel comfortable
around them.

If you've ever known an accountant or computer
programmer that was brilliantly smart, but totally
boring, you know what I mean.

If people act kind of nervous, strange, and
uncomfortable when they're around you, then you
also know where I'm coming from on this.

I can't teach you how to make people feel
comfortable around you in two sentences, but if
you need to learn how to mix with people socially,
then start PAYING ATTENTION to what's going on
around you.

Watch how others dress, carry themselves, walk,
and talk. Pay attention to little details... like
saying, "What's up?" when you meet someone new,
instead of "Hello, pleased to meet you" and such.

...now, is this all there is to being "cool"?

Of course not.

But it's a great start.

If you can first get yourself to the place
where other people want to be around you just
because they enjoy your company, you'll find that
taking things to the next level with women will be
about 10 times easier.

I've had this conversation with MANY of the
guys I know who are successful with women, and
they all basically say the same thing... you have
to learn how to be "cool" and make others (women)
feel comfortable just being in the same room with
you. And if you're "cool", this happens almost
instantly. If you're not "cool", then you're going
to have a hard time making ANYONE feel comfortable
with you... never mind having a woman feel
ATTRACTION for you.



Even though I don't talk very much about this
concept (I will in the future, though), you'll
notice that many of the techniques you'll learn
from my materials will help you in a lot of areas
of your life... not just with women.

As a direct result of the things I've learned
about how to be more successful with women and
dating, I've ALSO become more successful at things
like being invited to "exclusive" parties, having
famous and successful people pursue me as a
friend, and just generally being invited into more
"exclusive" social circles.

Why is this?

Well, for one thing, people who know a lot of
"cool" or influential people are very careful
about who they "bring along" to gatherings with
friends.

The LAST thing someone "cool" needs in their
life is an "UN-cool" person making a jackass of
themselves in front of all of their friends.

When you learn the art of being "cool", you
start to attract other cool people. And those
people will see that you're not insecure,
emotionally unstable, clingy, and such. They'll
see that you know how to handle yourself with
other people (and with women), and they'll start
introducing you to other cool people (including
women) instead of running away from you.

I know that this newsletter is going to ignite
a whole series of letters to me about how learning
these concepts has done exactly what I'm talking
about for various guys (and I want to hear about
it, by the way, so make sure you write in).

So, want more great ideas on how to be "cool",
and how to meet and date more women?

I thought so...

It took me a long time to figure out how to be
"cool" around women... and how to make women feel
that powerful physical and emotional response
called ATTRACTION...

I can't tell you how much I wish I could have
known what I teach when I was younger. It's taken
me literally YEARS to put all the pieces together,
and I invite you to take advantage of the time,
effort, energy, and money I've invested to
discover, refine, and organize all of the step- by-
step techniques I've put together.

^_=

2 comments:

  1. interesting. and it's true, on how people select whom to bring to parties, to make sure the partner doesnt make a fool of themselves.

    ReplyDelete