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Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Date a Guy Who Climbs Mountains

Lately I’ve been hanging out with mountaineer friends who have just been turned down by the women of their dreams (read: basted). Conversations were peppered with tales of heartbreak and extreme emo-ness. Of course, I had a grand time making fun of them because I’m brimming with empathy like that.
But on a serious note, I do feel for these guys who I know have good hearts and sincere intentions so I thought of writing this for them. I know this whole “Date a Girl/Guy Who…” format has been around for a while and may have already gone passé but, eh, who gives a damn.
To my favorite emo buddies, this one’s for you. Hearts are easy to break and girls are hard to get but life is still one hell of a fun ride. No matter what, we’ll still have mountains to climb and beaches to crash. We’ll have our sunsets and long bus rides and bottles of cold Mountain Dew. We shall laugh and drink and swap cheesy song lyrics. We shall live and have a kickass time. So here goes.
Date a guy who climbs mountains. Date a guy who hikes for hours to reach the highest peaks just for the heck of it. He’s the one with the muddy shoes, smelly backpack, worn-out hiking pants and a complexion that has survived the worst of sunburns.
Date a guy who feels right at home on a campsite, who thinks electricity and indoor plumbing are non-essentials. He can pitch a tent that’ll keep you warm and dry even amidst the pounding rain. He can fix up a kitchen with just a foldable stove, a canister of butane and two metal pots. He will serve you hot soup and well-cooked, fluffy rice and they’d be the best stuff you’ve ever tasted after a whole day of trekking.
Find a guy who has been to the summit. He will tell you tales of amazing things he has seen, of sights that took his breath away, and he will take you there so you can experience them for yourself.
He falls silent at the sight of a beautiful sunrise. He stands in awe at the stunning view of the valley below. He knows how to value beauty because he has braved forest trails and steep ascents just to see it.
Find a guy who has travelled to remote places in search of a challenging climb. He will not back down from an obstacle. He will look at adversity straight in the eye and say ‘give me the best you’ve got.’ He can keep his cool in the face of life’s problems because he already knows what it’s like to go through the crappiest of situations and survive.
Date a guy who is happiest on a mountain. Listen to his stories. Laugh at his jokes. You will never have a dull moment with him. When you’ve left behind the trappings of modern society and life has been stripped down to the basics, he will make you feel like nothing is missing and you have all you’ll ever need.
Date a guy who climbs mountains. Keep him. Don’t break his heart. He will treasure you and take you on his most outrageous adventures. He will drag you out of your comfort zone and keep your pulse racing. Say yes to a guy who climbs mountains. He will make you feel incredibly alive.
Girls, if you’ve been thoroughly convinced by this ultra-cheesy post and you now want to go out with super-awesome mountaineers, let me know. I will trade you their mobile numbers for a bucket of ice-cold beer. ‘Cause I’m nice like that. :D

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