TOP 5:WHAT ATTRACT WOMEN TO MEN

If an appearance is usually the first thing which attracts a man to woman, the features which seem to be attractive to women in men are a bit different. In must be said, that a handsome face and gorgeous shape are quite important, however dominant positions occupy other men’s traits. Are you striving for finding out 5 winning characteristics? Then read and assess your suitability.
#1 Self-confidence
Self-confidence is a crucial feature which serves as an evidence of a man’s success. Since women want to be supported, they automatically pay attention on a confident individual of the opposite sex. If a man has a high self-esteem, this will trigger a woman to think that he is a worthy candidate. Otherwise self-doubt prevents a woman to be attracted to a man even if he has a variety of wonderful characteristics.
#2 Intelligence
Intelligence can be considered as one the sexiest features in men. Didn’t you think over the “paradox”: why smart men are always surrounded by women? However if a man is too smart, sometimes it can only generate the difficulties for him, as his attractiveness is getting lower.
#3 Humor
One the best ways to pick up a woman is making her laugh. This well-known method is really handy even after she knows you for a long time. Humor functions as a relaxing medium which encourages the woman to trust you much. Humorous people usually seem to be easy to contact with and happier. The last one provides a hope for the woman that this man can make her happy too.
#4 Strength
Men are physically stronger than women, and this distinguishing trait attracts them to men so much. A woman unconsciously thinks that a strong man is more supportive and more capable to provide protection to her. However superfluous devotion to sport hardly attracts any woman.
#5 Mystery
As the men, the women like mysterious guys. She should think that she doesn’t know about you everything. Be unpredictable and try to surprise her with your secret talents, for instance. This will make her looking at you at a different angle of view deeming you are more interesting then she expected before.

So, these are the basic “instruments” which make a man more attractive. However each man has his own special arsenal which works as a perfect tool for enticing a woman.

A guide to what to do about snake bite

 8

If you or a loved one find themselves bitten by a snake, here is a guide to what to do.

- Call 000
- Quickly apply a broad pressure bandage across the bite
- Little venom reaches the blood stream if firm pressure is applied over the bite and the limb is immobilised
- Crepe bandages are ideal but any flexible material may be used such as clothing, towels or pantyhose
- Keep patient still, including all limbs
- Do not cut or excise the bitten area
- Do not apply an arterial tourniquet
- Do not wash the bitten or stung area. The type of snake may be identified by the venom on the skin

WOMAN ON TOP

Horny woman = happy couple. Her libido affects your relationship more than the sex itself does, a new BYU study found. High female desire but low sex frequency was still linked to high relationship satisfaction in 8,000 couples. “If women want more sex, they invest more in a relationship, which boosts happiness,” says author Brian Willoughby PhD. But long-term, unmet desires may lead to instability.


PS:HEHEHE

28 WAYS T0 MAKE A Girl Smile.....

[1] tell her she is Beautiful. not hot or fine.

[2] hold her hand at ANY moment even if it is just for a second.
...
[3] Kiss her on the forehead.

[4] leave her voice messages to wake up to.

[5] ALWAYS tell her you love her at any & and all times.

[6] when she is upset, hold her tight & tell her how much she means to u.

[7] recognize the small things ..they usually mean the most.

[8] call her Sweetie or BABY.

[9] Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is.

[10] pick her over all the OTHER girls you hang out with.

[11] write her notes.(she loves them)

[12] introduce her to family & friends as your girlfriend.

[13] play with her hair.

[14] pick her up, tickle her, & play WRESTLE with her.

[15] sit in the park & just TALK to her.

[16] tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her joke.

[17] throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because u missed
her.

[18] let her fall asleep in your arms.

[19] carve your names into a TREE.

[20] if she`s mad. Kiss her !

[21] give her piggyback rides.

[22] bring her flowers just because.

[23] treat her the same around your friends as you do when you`re alone.

[24] look her in the eyes & Smile.

[25] let her take as many pictures as she wants.

[26] SL0W DANCE with her, even if there isn't any music playing.

[27] KISS HER IN THE RAIN.

[28] if you`re in love with her tell her.

 

PS:pm ME ANYTIME for consultation ;D

3 Reasons to Travel While You’re Young

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The other night, I had a conversation with a young woman who had a number of decisions ahead of her, one of which was whether she should go to grad school or travel the world.
I told her to travel. Hands down. No excuse. Just go.

Photo credit: Flickr (Creative Commons)

She sighed.

“Yeah, but…”

Never were more fatal words spoken.
Yeah, but… what about debt?
Yeah, but… what about my job?
Yeah, but… what about my boyfriend (or dog or car or whatever)?
“Yeah, but…” is pernicious. Because it makes it sound like we have the best of intentions when really we are just too scared to do what we should.
It allows us to be cowards, while sounding noble.
Most people I know who waited to travel the world never did. Conversely, plenty of people who waited for grad school or a steady job and traveled still did those things — eventually.
Be careful of the yeah-but. The yeah-but will kill your dreams.
I was so stirred by this conversation that I shared it with a group of about thirty young adults last night, many of which were asking these very questions.

The life you’ve always wanted

When you get older, life seems to just sort of happen to you. Your youth is a time of total empowerment.
You get to do what you want. As you mature and gain new responsibilities, you have to be very intentional about making sure you don’t lose sight of what’s important.
So if you still have a reasonable amount of control over your circumstances, you should do what really matters. Because life won’t always be just about you.
During early adulthood, your worldview is still being formed. It’s important to steward this time — to give yourself opportunities to grow. A good way to do that is to travel.
So, young person, travel.
Travel wide and far.
Travel boldly.
Travel with full abandon.
You will regret few risks you take, when it comes to this. I promise you.
There are three reasons to travel while you’re young:

1. Traveling teaches you to live an adventure

When you look back on your life, you will have moments of which you are proud and maybe a few you regret. It’s likely that the following won’t be on the latter list:

• Bicycled across the Golden Gate Bridge.
• Appeared on Italian TV.
• Hiked a Mayan ruin.
• Learned Spanish in three months.
• Toured Europe by train.

They’re not on mine (fun fact: I’ve done all of the above).
What, then, will be?

• Holding back.
• Being afraid.
• Making excuses.
• Not taking more risks.
• Waiting.

While you’re young, you should travel.
You should take the time to see the world and taste the fullness of life. It’s worth whatever investment or money or sacrifice of time required on your part.
It’s not about being a tourist. It’s about experiencing true risk and adventure so you don’t have to live in fear for the rest of your life.

2. Traveling helps you encounter compassion

In your youth, you will make choices that will define you. The disciplines you begin now will be with you for the rest of your life.
Traveling will change you like little else can. It will put you in places that will force you to care for issues that are bigger than you.
If you go to southeast Asia, you may encounter the slave trade. If eastern Europe, you may see the effects of genocide and religious persecution. If Haiti, you’ll witness the the ugly side Western paternalism.
Your heart will break.
You will begin to understand that the world is both a big and small place. You will have a new-found respect for the pain and suffering that over half of the world takes for granted on a daily basis. And you will feel more connected to your fellow human beings in a deep and lasting way.
You will learn to care.

3. Traveling allows you to get some culture

While you’re still young, you should get cultured. Get to know the world and the magnificent people that fill it.
There’s nothing quite like walking alongside the Coliseum or seeing Michelangelo’s David in person. I can describe the city of San Juan and its amazing beaches and historic sites to you, but you really have to see it for yourself to experience it. You can read all the books in the world about the Great Wall of China or The Louvre, but being there is a different story.
The world is a stunning place, full of outstanding works of art. See it.
Do this while you’re still young. Do not squander this time. You will never have it again.
You have a crucial opportunity to invest in the next season of your life now. Whatever you sow, you will eventually reap.
Please. For your sake, do this.
You won’t always be young. And life won’t always be just about you. So travel. Experience the world for all it’s worth. Become a person of culture, adventure, and compassion.

“What if I’m not young?”

Travel, anyway. It may not be easy to do, but find a way to get out of your comfort zone. It’s really never too late.
But if you haven’t gotten sucked into the routine of life yet, I implore you — travel. It will never be easier than it is right now for you to do that which really matters.
If you’re young, have you traveled yet? Have you seen what the world has to offer and how it can change you? What’s holding you back?
If you’re older, did you travel when you were young? What regrets do you have?

10 Most Popular Jobs and What They Pay

Not everyone hates their job. Some workers feel good where they put their time and energy from 9-5. Check out the 10 most popular jobs based on employee satisfaction.

Could it be? That some people actually like what they do for a living and enjoy going to work every morning? PayScale conducted a survey earlier this year asking workers how satisfied they were with their job, and compiled a list of the top 10 most popular jobs and what they pay. Check to see if your occupation made the list:

More from FoxBusiness.com: 

• New Rules for Job Hunting in the Internet Age

• Long-Term Unemployed Workers Face Even Tougher Battle

• Families Wise Up About Paying for College

Operating Room Registered Nurse

These nurses play a key role in helping save lives on the operating room table and top the list of most satisfied.

Median annual salary: $61,000

 Percentage of respondents who are satisfied: 81%

Physical Therapist

Physical therapists get the gratification of helping people recover from surgeries, injuries and all sorts of ailments.

Median annual salary: $69,000

 Percentage of respondents who are satisfied: 80%

Environmental Engineer

Environmental engineers get the satisfaction of working to develop methods and best practices to keep maintain clean air, water and land.

Median annual salary: $63,000

 Percentage of respondents who are satisfied: 80%

Athletic Trainer

Athletic trainers are highly-skilled professionals that help people prevent and recover from injuries and help athletes become powerhouses.

Median annual salary: $39,000

 Percentage of respondents who are satisfied: 79%

Dietitian

Dietitians work to help people improve their health through nutrition and meal plan assistance and aid people dealing with diabetes, weight maintenance and other dietary issues.

Median annual salary: $49,000

 Percentage of respondents who are satisfied: 78%

Elementary School Teacher

What is more satisfying than inspiring young people and challenging them to learn and shaping our future leaders?

Median annual salary: $41,000

 Percentage of respondents who are satisfied: 78%

Intelligence Analyst

Intelligence analysts research, collect and analyze data to assist clients such as the police or armed forces to protect the homeland.

Median annual salary: $69,000

 Percentage of respondents who are satisfied: 76%

Computer Networking/IT Systems Engineer

Computer network engineers spend their days trouble shooting and solving IT problems as well as designing, setting up and improving computer networks for organizations.

Median annual salary: $70,000

 Percentage of respondents who are satisfied: 75%

Dental Hygienist

Dental hygienists teach patients better oral care and give people a brighter, healthier smile. And we all know smiles are contagious.

Median annual salary: $68,000

 Percentage of respondents who are satisfied: 74%

Technical Writer

Technical writers can work in a variety of fields and are tasked with taking complicated topics and making it understandable for a general audience.

Median annual salary: $56,000

 Percentage of respondents who are satisfied: 71

PS:I ain't in the list BUT i make $150000 per/year ;P

The Truth About Your Potential With Women

Let’s be honest here...
How good can you REALLY become with women? Can you REALLY get to the point where you can approach and pick up almost any woman? Is it possible for you to REALLY have several attractive women chasing you and trying to get into a relationship with you?
The answer may surprise you...
I recently came across a 'hidden truth' about a guy’s POTENTIAL for success with women and in life. It goes like this: When you’re performing at a new level, it is simply a glimpse of your true potential.
What does that mean for you and your success with women? It means that each time you experience an improvement in your abilities with women, you should recognize it and realize that it's just a GLIMPSE of what you can achieve. .
Too often, guys make a HUGE MISTAKE when it comes to success with women. Plagued by ineffective mindsets, they fail to see what is happening right before their eyes. Here’s an example of the critical mistake in action:
A guy interacts with a BEAUTIFUL woman and she shows him interest. He gets excited and feels a RUSH of attraction for her. Then, his insecurities begin to kick in.

• He worries about stuffing it up.
• He doubts that she’d actually go for a guy like him.
• He fears that if he tries to make a move, she’ll reject him.
• He begins to show obvious signs of nervousness.

She notices that he’s nervous, simply by looking at subtle changes in his body language and eye contact. She loses interest. Throughout the following year, the guy interacts with 5-10 more beautiful women and experiences the same thing, over and over:
He gets nervous...the woman notices...she loses interest...his opportunity is gone.
As the years go by, he begins to AVOID beautiful women (even though they are what he truly wants), believing that they are OUT OF HIS LEAGUE and are just not interested in a guy like him. Every now and then, he meets a beautiful woman by chance, but continues to stuff it up because he:

• Doubts that she would like a guy like him.
• Is more worried about trying to say something cool or funny, than listening to what the woman is saying. Thus, killing the conversation.
• Worries that he will get rejected if he tries to make a move.
• Fears that the she would lose interest in him once she found out what he’s like as a person.
• Believes that to date beautiful women, you need to impress the hell out of them.
• Gives up, fearing that he won’t be able to live up her expectations.

However, he is failing to see the hidden truth about his potential with these beautiful women. That being - they are showing him INTEREST time and time again - even if only for a few fleeting SECONDS! It’s his nervousness and ‘confidence issues’ that are ruining the opportunities...not that beautiful women don’t like him.
Women are naturally-wired to DETECT a lack of confidence in men (they need to so they can find the men amongst the boys(. When a beautiful woman even gets a WHIFF of insecurity and nervousness, it causes a huge shift inside her...something she cannot control.
Just like we men cannot control our attraction for women who are physically beautiful...and our lack of attraction for women who are obese.
In the example I gave, the guy feels as though beautiful women are out of his league and are at a level that he just can’t reach, but the truth is...
When you’re performing at a new level, it is simply a glimpse of your true potential.
In his case, that means: When the beautiful women are showing him interest, it’s just a GLIMPSE of his true potential with those women. To succeed with beautiful women, he needs to fix what is causing them to LOSE their attraction for him.
Luckily for us men, we CAN fix our attractiveness because most of the attraction that a woman feels for a man is based on his confidence. You only need to stop now and think about all the confident guys you know...do they do well with women? I'm guessing the answer is "Yes".
Here's the cold, hard truth of the matter...
If you don't believe that when you are performing at a new level, it's just a GLIMPSE of your true potential, then that is going to be your problem...probably for life. The guys who do believe it are the ones who end up sending me success stories.
These guys are no different to you or me. We're all just guys...we are modern men in the world. The fact is: How you THINK about yourself and how you rate yourself is not only going to affect your life with women, but your entire life and what you achieve throughout it. Your level of belief in yourself will either hold you back, or push you forward to where you want to be.
There's no need to hold yourself back. There's no need to continue doubting yourself, putting yourself down and saying that you can't. You CAN have it all. You CAN be one of the confident guys who has women offering themselves to him.
This area of your life CAN be completely under your control. Let me tell you from personal experience: There's nothing better than having several beautiful women attracted to you at once. Then having the power to choose one (or sometimes more) of the women to enjoy an amazing sexual, loving relationship with.
There's also nothing better than no longer having to worry about this area of your life. Knowing that you will never, ever have to struggle to get a woman ever again.
Like many of the guys I know who are at the mastery level say, "This is so easy now...I can't believe I used to suck so bad at this...it's just so easy now..."
It really is...
At the mastery level, women basically offer themselves to you. It's unreal. Don't cheat yourself out of this. You DO deserve it and you CAN have it.

9 FUN THINGS TO DO THIS WEEKEND ^_^

1. Try speed dating and get a bunch of dates
lined up.

2. Join a fun adult learning class that a lot
of women will go to such as, like: Massage,
dancing, cooking.

3. Go on a road trip with some friends and visit
tourist areas where groups of single women (on
holiday) are looking to have some fun.

4. Eat out at a restaurant with a friend/some
friends. Chat up the waitresses.

5. Take public transport to a far away destination,
or into the city and chat to women who sit next to
you.

6. Join a gym and start working out. Spark up
conversations with girls who are working out.
(Wait until they are having a break between sets).

7. Take a weekend holiday. Meet groups of single
women who are on holidays and looking for some
fun.

8. Go to a cultural event. Meet women of that
particular culture, or other women who've come
along to learn about the culture.

9. Join a mixed sports team. Meet women in the
team and make friends with new people.

SKATEGIRL >> Patti McGee: The First Betty is a champ!

Patty McGee in the original picture of Skateboarder Magazine' cover

Patti McGee: The First Betty is a champ!

Last year, after the first round of inductees at the IASC was announced, several girls got pissed off that out of the five nominees there was no girl. This year, the IASC has learned its lesson and the very first women skateboard champion is part of the cru.

And guess what? Known by her peers as the “First Betty”, Patti McGee was already skateboarding when your mother was not even born! She recalls that she and her friends had to skate in deserted parking lots until the security guards or the police would come to chase them. Doesn’t sound familiar? She started skating right when “they invented parking garages. The exits were a challenge not to mention having to watch out for the security guards. Yep, not much has changed for skaters there!”

Patti was born on August 23, 1945 at Santa Monica and like most skateboarders at the time, she says that she “started out as a surfer, so when there was no surf my friends and I would find a hill to ride. That’s how I started skating". McGee, who grew up in Southern California, was an avid surfer and begged her mom to take her to the beach to catch the waves. When skateboarding entered the scene, McGee found a new freedom and, in 1962, she started skateboarding with a "Bunbuster" by Cooley, during the Easter vacations when she was at the Hollywood Teen Fair. In an interview for Skateboarder Magazine in 1965, she recalls that: ”I had been asked by a sporting goods store to give away a skateboard at a drawing every evening. One evening, the kid that was supposed to do the skateboard demonstration did not show up and they asked me to take his place. So, in front of 1500 kids, I did my first skateboard demonstration.” Already a skateboard warrior at the time, she set the trend for many decades to come. She recalls that “no hill was too steep, no parking lot too tall, no pavement safe; we couldn’t get enough.” Something that could definitively be the title of the next YouTube craze.

The year was 1965 when Patti McGee, only 19 at the time, became the first women skateboard champion at the “Women’s National Skateboard Championship"(Danny Bearer won the men’s division). Following that achievement, she became the first professional female skateboarder in history and the demo girl for HOBIE Skateboards (and Vita-Pak) and traveled for about one year demonstrating the boards at a national level. The craze for skateboarding was high and everybody wanted to be with Patti. So, she did several commercials for national brands, then she appeared on national television program like “What’s My Line” and “The Johnny Carson Show”.

Patti McGee

Patti McGee

On National television, she demonstrated to the whole world what could be done with a skateboard: a kick-turn (also know as a tic-tac), a 360, several walking the board maneuvers and a handstand. Those flat tricks were considered radical at the time, especially if you remember that the wheels were made of metal, that they had no grip, that they were doing an awful noise; and that the boards were made of skinny solid wood that was not wide enough to place both feet.

But what she considers as the highlight of her carrier is not the national tour with Hobie or the TV shows but the cover of Life Magazine. She recalls that "I appeared upside down on my board doing a hand stand on the cover of LIFE magazine on May 14th, 1965," she said.

"I also got the cover of Skateboarder Magazine. That will always be my pride and joy. It’s also another first for girl skaters." Yes, on the cover of the fourth issue of Skateboarder Magazine! And that was back in 1965.

Unfortunately, as Jim Fitzpatrick told isTia in a (exclusive) forthcoming interview with isTia : “The crash was the result of people discovering that skateboarding is painful. The excitement of "How cool is this?!?” became: “Shit, this hurts!”. So, most kids who bough a clay wheeled-skateboard never bought another one. One and done! This is too difficult, it hurts when you fall!”.

Suddenly, due to poor quality equipment (Steel and Clay wheels) which lead to numerous accidents, many American cities banned skateboarding and by Christmas 1965 Skateboarding had died and along with it the national contests dried up, the sponsors disappeared, the brands and the magazines went out of business and it took 10 years for the next skateboard revival to hit the concrete with a vengeance.

A Blue-eyed blonde, Pat McGee is a rare combination of
beauty and skateboard talent. Pat, 19 says the secret of her
championship form is plenty of practice.
Original comment from JohnSeverson - Skateboarder Magazine

When Dogtown Legends like Tony Alva, Jay Adams or Stacy Peralta started ripping the empty pools in 74-77, she had already left the scene for skiing at Lake Tahoe. And it's just too funny that the most famous image of the 1965 national champion is showing her skating around a pool... Then she went into Turquoise mining in Nevada and later worked as a leather smith. For 15 years, Patti ran a southwestern Trading Post in a place called Cave Creek in Arizona and she is currently involved with in a screen-printing business with her daughter, Hailey Villa. The business, “First Betty”, prints skate-inspired girls clothing line. Still in the skateboard business after 53 years!

And this year, she will stand beside skateboarding inductees and icons including Torger Johnson, Stacy Peralta, Steve Caballero, Eric Koston and Bob Burnquist at the next IASC event .

“IASC recognizes the importance of honoring the pros that made skateboarding what it is today,” said John Bernards, IASC executive director. “Without those icons and legends, the tricks skateboarders are doing today would not exist. This year’s inductees represent the best, most progressive skateboarding from 1960 to 2010, and we congratulate each of them on their accomplishments.”

Because of women like McGee, skateboarding has become more than a just a sport for the dudes. She has certainly paved the way for other female shredders. While it’s true the industry caters toward our counterparts, it’s nice to see McGee will receive the recognition she deserves.

These days, Patty McGee is not shy to say that she is 61 and that she still rips like in the good ol’ days. Her top two skateboarding influences are Dave Hackett and Peggie Oki, she stills read skateboarding magazine (she is a fan of Concrete Wave and Thrasher) and she is riding a Dave Hackett board, a gift from Death Box.

So next time you se a grayish ol’ woman ripping on a skateboard ask her for advice, she may have a trick or two that she has kept secret during all those years… You never know who you talk to…


All pictures from Life and Skateboarder Magazine.

The Ten Worst Things to Put in Your Cover Letter

It's never too early to make a bad impression.

A cover letter or introductory email is often the first thing a potential employer sees when reviewing a job applicant. It's the first opportunity to impress recruiters and hiring managers and, therefore, the first opportunity to disappoint them. Everything from copy mistakes to inappropriate jokes in a cover letter could derail an application.

Here are the top ten worst things to put on a cover letter:

1. Next to Nothing
While writing something that's too long is a common cover letter mistake, what can be even more damaging is a cover letter that's too short.
Bruce Hurwitz, President of Hurwitz Strategic Staffing, Ltd., a New York-based staffing firm recalls a cover letter he received a few months ago for an entry-level IT sales position. It read simply, "Here's my resume. Call me. [Phone number]."
"I cracked up," Hurwitz says. "This person had only just graduated with a Bachelor's degree. It was ridiculous."
A good cover letter should be somewhere between 200 to 250 words, Hurwitz says, and should answer the question of why a recruiter should look at the resume. "The key is to highlight one success," Hurwitz says. "For example, 'I successfully increased sales 500% over two years, resulting in increased, sustained revenue of $25 million.' Once I read that, I look at the resume."


2. Criticism of a Prospective Employer
Thumbtack.com, a San Francisco-based site that connects customers with small business services, asked potential employees to submit in their cover letters feedback about their website. One candidate, a contender for an entry-level position in April, didn't pull any punches.
"The engineering of your site looks lazy and ineffective," the applicant wrote, proceeding to describe the color scheme of the site as "disconcerting to my eyes."
Needless to say, he was not considered for the position, though not before the hiring manager got in some laughs around the water cooler at his expense.
"We forwarded the cover letter to our managers sort of as a joke," says Sander Daniels, co-founder of the site. "It was the most caustic feedback we received. But we responded kindly to him -- we didn't suggest any improvements to him in approaching other employers. We don't see it as our role to counsel failed candidates."
Daniels observed that while many strong candidates turn in well-written cover letters, some have let the demand for engineers get to their heads, as Silicon Valley romances them with six-figure salaries and other job perks.
"Maybe they think they can get away with it -- but in our company, culture is a very important factor." Daniels says. "Even if Facebook's best engineer came to us, we wouldn't hire him if he was a jerk."


3. Personal Stories
While employers are sometimes interested in personal stories, especially if they give some idea about work ethic, it's best to save these stories for the interview, says Lindsay Olson of New York-based Paradigm Staffing, who specializes in recruiting communications and marketing professionals.
"I think my favorite of all time was the salesperson who poetically told me about how he decided to run a marathon, climbed to reach glaciers to have a taste of pure water, ran at heights of 5,000 meters in Peru, and biked down the world's most dangerous road and survived (over 300,000 have not)," says Olson, of a candidate who was applying for a business development position at a recruiting firm in June last year. "All this in his opening paragraph."
If you are asked in an interview about your hobbies and adventures, be prepared with a strong answer, says Olson. "What a [job candidate] likes to do outside of work might show how they are in their job," she says. "As a hiring manager, what you don't like to hear is, 'I just like to sit around at home and read books all day.'"


4. Awkward Language
Rachel Levy, director of marketing at Just Military Loans, a Wilmington, Del.-based personal loan service for military personnel, got a letter last week from a candidate who seemed to be expressing lukewarm interest in an IT analyst position.
"My name is xxx. I am pretty interested in the IT analyst position at Just Military Loans," the letter began.
Levy says she sees many applications, especially for IT jobs, to have grammatical and other language flaws. "What I've noticed is that there are a lot of people applying to these jobs, for whom English is a second language," Levy says. "So the connotations of certain words and phrases may not be clear to them. Which is fine, but they should get someone to help word their intentions correctly."
In this case, Levy thinks the applicant meant "very" instead of "pretty," but she'll never know because that applicant didn't get an interview.


5. Someone Else's Words
Frank Risalvato, a recruiting officer for Inter-Regional Executive Search Inc., is deluged with cover letters from different candidates that all obviously use the same template from the same career coaches.
"Some of these [cover letters] we see are very obviously not written by the individual," says Risalvato. "We get 15 to 20 of these a month, and it sounds disingenuous and insincere, seeing these cover letters from Seattle one week, Chicago another, and it's all the same style."
Some career experts also warn against the tired stand-by opening lines in a cover letter. "Opening a letter with a passive and clichéd statement such as 'Enclosed please find my resume highlighting my experience and skills that would help your company to grow and succeed,'" is a no-no, says Ann Baehr, certified professional resume writer and president of New York-based Best Resumes. "It's best to use something catchy and more specific such as, "If your company could benefit from the expertise of a hard-charging sales producer with a flawless record of success for closing tier-one Fortune 500 prospects in the healthcare technology market and capturing millions of dollars in revenue, please take a moment to review the attached resume."
If you're uncomfortable with that approach, make your cover letter unique to you with insights about the company you're applying to, advises Darrell Gurney, Los Angeles-based founder of career coaching site Careerguy.com and author of Backdoor Job Search: Never Apply For A Job Again!.
"Put in a note saying something like, 'I've been following your company's progress in the last year and in February and I noticed your company was mentioned in the Journal of such and such,'" Gurney says. "That's the amazing thing about the Internet. You can spend 15 minutes online and look like you've been following them for a year."
Gurney reminds applicants to do their full research on the company if they do get called in for an interview after.


6. Irrelevant Experience
As noteworthy as an impressive Girl Scout cookies sales record may be, it's not worth trumpeting that experience when trying to break into a field like software sales. Rich DeMatteo, co-founder of Philadelphia-based Social Media Marketing firm Bad Rhino, remembers a candidate who did just that when he was working as a corporate recruiter at a software company.
"I was recruiting for a software sales position and one candidate was sure she was qualified because of her success selling Girl Scout cookies when she was a young girl," DeMatteo says. "I think she was young and didn't realize how important it is to state the right experience. Younger applicants tend to reach for skills, and try to find them anywhere in their life."
Some candidates take it even further, acknowledging they have no relevant skills, but pushing to be hired anyway.
"I read one for an IT analyst position that says, 'Although my qualifications do not exactly match your needs, the close proximity to my home is a big bonus for me,'" Levy of Just Military Loans recalls. "You have a lot of underqualified people just out of college just throwing resumes at the wall, and hoping something sticks."
DeMatteo suggests trying to focus on specifc sales figures or experience in relevant projects. "A lot of sales, for instance, is numbers-based. Stick to that."


7. Arrogance
It's one thing to promote yourself favorably in a cover letter, but watch that it doesn't degenerate into overt bragging.
This is especially true when it comes to ambiguous skills, says Jennifer Fremont-Smith, CEO of Smarterer, a Boston-based tech startup aimed at helping IT applicants improve their resumes.
"People claim to have things like, 'superior Internet skills.' What does that even mean?" says Fremont-Smith. "I saw an application from a Web developer about a month ago where he described himself as a 'rockstar in design tools,' and an 'expert in developer tools.' That kind of inflated language doesn't really tell your employer much about your skills."
Fremont-Smith recommends carefully personalizing your cover letter to the employer and listing the most relevant of skills for the job you want, and why you want it. "The cover letter is the place to tell your story about why it is that you're the right person for the company," she says. "It's about really crafting a narrative that answers the question of why the employer should talk to you."


8. Wrong Company Name/Wrong Cover Letter
Talk about mistakes that are easy to avoid.
"The biggest mistake I see on a regular basis is that candidates either misspell the name of the company or get the name wrong," says Gary Hewing of Houston-based Bert Martinez Communications LLC. "If it's a small misspelling like 'Burt' instead of 'Bert', I'd be willing to overlook that. But the big, unforgivable mistake is when someone copies and pastes a cover letter without the name or address to the correct company. That, to me, is someone who's lazy and not paying attention."
Hewing says sometimes it's hard to tell if a cover letter was meant for a particular job, even if the candidate got the company name and position right, if they talk about disconnected experience without explaining themselves.
"We're a sales organization, but at least twice a month, we'll get a cover letter with someone talking about their banking background instead of sales," says Hewing. "It's a complete disconnect to the job description and it doesn't even explain if the candidate is seeking a career change. It tells me that they're just not paying attention."


9. Cultural Preferences
Job hunting is often compared to dating: It's about finding the right match; and success hinges on staying cool under pressure and masking anxieties to appear confident instead of desperate. But a few candidates take the dating analogy too far, subjecting hiring managers to long lists of personal likes and dislikes in cover letters.
"This one guy wrote the first part of his cover letter talking about his interests like it was an ad for an online dating site," Olson of Paradigm Staffing says, about an applicant trying for a PR job. "He likes all types of music, but 'never got into country.'"
While potentially charming to a possible mate, those tidbits are not helpful in a cover letter.


10. Jokes
Breaking the ice with humor isn't necessarily a bad idea, but jokes in cover letters are usually a turn-off for busy employers, say recruiters. It might be better to save them for the interview, if they are to be used at all. Olson recalled a candidate for a communications executive position who rubbed an employer the wrong way with an off-color joke.
"She decided in her interview, for some reason, to compare kids to Nazis," says Olson. "She thought she was being funny, but the interviewer happened to be Jewish and didn't think she was very funny."
Recruiters agree that it's best to stick with tried-and-true unfunny, but effective conventional pitches about your education and work experience.
"The thing with trying to be chummy and funny is that you lose credibility," says Gurney of Careerguy.com. "It looks desperate. And the worst thing you can do in job-seeking is looking desperate or needy."


PS: IMPORTANT TO ALL BUSINESSMAN

Ten Things Women Do Better Than Men

This came from an article on Cosmopolitan's Website about a recent study that proves women are better than men at certain things. I just had to share this.

1. We evolve hotter.

A recent study revealed that women are getting better looking through evolution; meanwhile, men are staying the same. After following more than 2,000 people through four decades of life, the study showed that attractive women had 16 percent more children than average-looking chicks and that beautiful people are 36 percent more likely to have a daughter as their firstborn. All those gorgeous daughters mean more beautiful women than in past generations.

2. We survive car accidents more often.

This is sad but true: Men are 77 percent more likely to die in a car accident than women, according to a study done by Carnegie Mellon University. Our boyfriends should be thanking us when we nag them to "Wear your seatbelt!"

3. We're better at seeking comfort.

A mind survey of 2,000 people revealed that women are far more likely than men to talk through their problems. Fifty-three percent of women talk to their friends about what's stressing them out, as opposed to 29 percent of men.

4. We're more recession-proof.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 80 percent of those who have lost their jobs since December 2007 have been men. Ouch. This could be because male-dominated fields have been hit the hardest, like manufacturing and finance. That really sucks...but hey, maybe it's time more men became nurses and educators.

5. We graduate college more often.

We already know that female enrollment is higher than male, but the Department of Education's statistics reveal that men are also less likely than women to graduate and get their bachelor's degrees. Men are also more likely to take longer than five years to complete their degree.

6. We eat healthier.

A survey of more than 14,000 people, conducted by the University of Minnesota, showed that women choose far healthier foods than men. While men are more likely to chow down on frozen pizza and red meat, women are piling fruits and veggies onto their plates. It all sounds pretty obvious, but we get so much grief for our chocolate addictions that we just had to point this one out!

7. We have stronger immune systems.

No wonder men act like such babies when they have a sniffle — women really do have stronger immune systems than men! If there are little battles going on in our bodies, women have a secret weapon: estrogen. A study done by McGill University indicated that estrogen gives women an edge when it comes to fighting off infections. That's because estrogen confronts a certain enzyme that often hinders the body's first line of defense against bacteria and viruses.

8. We live longer.

Among the world's population of those who are over 100 years old, 85 percent are women, according to the New England Centenarian Study. In general, women continue to live five to 10 years longer than men as well.

9. We're better managers, especially in this economy.

This one is a little controversial, but a slew of experts are confident that women make greater bosses because they are better listeners, mentors, problem solvers, and multitaskers than their male counterparts. In a recent Daily News article, management expert Jay Forte said, "It's a very service-oriented economy [right now], so you need employees to be motivated. Women are better connectors than men and more astute about knowing how to activate passion in their employees."

10. We invest better.

A study of 100,000 portfolios showed that women's investment returns outperform men's, 18 percent to 11 percent. This could be because women are typically more cautious with their investment decisions and think longer term.

P/S: OOOOh i see ;D

Trust Yourself - We are perfect as we are

The Tao Te Ching: To achieve greatness we need do nothing. We are perfect as we are.
We are as God made us, and God doesn't make mistakes.
We are made perfectly for the tasks we are to perform on this Earth and that is to love God with all our heart, all our mind, all our strength. Not for God's sake, but for our own.

The Tao Te Ching: Think Small. Stay low.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Stay low --- like the ocean --- where all great rivers must flow into you.
Jesus spoke 500 years later. He said, "The meek shall inherit the Earth."

Lao Tzu, or "old man," regarded as the most learned man on the planet, wrote this 500 years B.C. His contemporaries were other self-realized beings like Buddha, Confusius in the East and Plato, Socrates, Euripedes in the West.

King Solomon of the Old Testament does not refute this. In fact, in his writings, King Solomon celebrates love of self and love of other. Pages are dedicated to this through his verse.

Jesus quotes Lao Tzu almost word for word in His sermons on the mount. The Tao Te Ching is the 2nd - most translated book in the world after the Bible.

"A Course in Miracles" --- another spiritual text says, "At the last judgment, God will tell us how He really feels about us, and finally... we will know how magnificent we are..."

KENNEDY KIPROO LILAN AND ROSE KERUBO NYANGACHA WIN MEN'S AND WOMEN'S STANDARD CHARTERED KL MARATHON 2011 TITLES

27 June 2011

Kuala Lumpur, 27 June 2011 - The Standard Chartered KL Marathon has two new champions this year as Kennedy Kiproo Lilan of Kenya and Rose Kerubo Nyangacha, won the Men’s and Women’s Full Marathon with respective times of 2 hours 20 minutes and 8.07 seconds and 2 hours 34 minutes and 37.43 seconds.
Chesoo Jonathan Kipchirchir from Kenya took home the Men’s Full Marathon first runner-up trophy with a time of 2 hours 20 minutes and 8.82 seconds just ahead of Julius Ndiritu Karinga, also from Kenya, who clocked 2 hours 20 minutes and 13.58 seconds in third place. Rose Jepkemboi Chesire from Kenya was the second to cross the line in the Women’s Full Marathon category with a time of 2 hours 35 minutes and 11.43 seconds, while Ruth Jepkoech Kutol of Kenya finished third in the women’s category at 2 hours 37 minutes and 23.93 seconds.
Malaysian Full Marathoners were not far behind with defending champion Shaharudin bin Hashim achieving his 5th Full Marathon Malaysian Men’s Title and Emelyne Teo Jia Wei taking the Malaysian Women’s category with a time of 2 hours 42 minutes and 36.19 seconds and 3 hours 32 minutes and 24.69 seconds respectively.
Approximately 22,000 runners took off from the starting lines in Dataran Merdeka and Jalan Parliament throughout race day, solidifying Standard Chartered KL Marathon’s position as the largest marathon and most anticipated event in Malaysia. Yang Berbahagia Datuk Haji Salleh bin Yusup, Director General of Dewan Bandaraya Kuala Lumpur, started off Race Day with a blast by firing the first gun to signal the start of the Full Marathon race.
Other dignitaries present at the marathon were Yang Berhormat Senator Tan Sri Dr. Koh Tsu Koon, Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department; Datuk Seri Ahmad Shabery Cheek, Minister of Youth and Sports, Malaysia; Yang Berbahagia Tan Sri Ahmad Fuad bin Ismail, Mayor of Kuala Lumpur; Chairman of Standard Chartered Bank Malaysia Berhad, Mr. Osman Morad, Managing Director and CEO of Standard Chartered Bank Malaysia Berhad, Yang Berbahagia Tan Sri Mohd. Amin Osman, president of the Federal Territory Amateur Athletic Association (FTAAA); Yang Berbahagia Datuk Seri Shahidan Kassim, president of the Malaysian Amateur Athletic Union (MAAU); Yang Berbahagia Dato’ Paduka Dr. Hajah Mumtaz Begum Abdul Jaffar, Executive Director of the National Athletes Welfare Foundation (YAKEB); Mr. Chua Seck Guan, CEO of MSIG Insurance and Yang Berbahagia Tan Sri Dato’ Mohd. Sheriff Mohd. Kassim.
Mr Osman Morad, Managing Director & CEO of Standard Chartered Bank Malaysia Berhad said, “For the third year in a row, Standard Chartered Bank is proud to be the title sponsor of the KL Marathon. It’s an event our staff look forward to with enthusiasm and enjoy by running, volunteering and cheering. I’m so pleased to see the Standard Chartered KL Marathon’s tremendous growth this year, with more and more Malaysians embracing the ‘marathon spirit’ that we aim to spread throughout the country.”
Mr Rainer Biemans, Project Director, Standard Chartered KL Marathon 2011 said, “The success of today’s event truly cements the Standard Chartered KL Marathon as one of Malaysia’s premiere sporting events. On behalf of the organisers, I would like to thank everyone for their dedicated support and commitment that went into making this day a great success and extend congratulations to all of the runners for running with us!”

Ngare Joseph Mwangi of Kenya took home the men’s half marathon title, clocking 1 hour 6 minutes and 58.12 seconds while Eunice Nyawira Muchiri, also from Kenya won the women’s category of the half marathon at 1 hour 18 minutes and 26.37 seconds.
In the Corporate Challenge category, in which organizations in Malaysia ran for charity, Telekom Malaysia clinched first place while Freelance Semiconductor and Ien Consultants Sdn. Bhd. followed behind in 2nd and 3rd place respectively.
Meanwhile, the team from Ministry of Youth and Sports emerged champions of the Ministries Challenge category, followed by the teams from Ministry of Works and Ministry of Home Affairs in 2nd and 3rd place respectively.
For the first time this year, 40 teams of five leading corporate and community leaders in Malaysia swapped their suits and ties for running shoes at the MSIG Ekiden relay race. The winners, Team New Balance were the fastest at passing their sash from one team member to the next, demonstrating their strong ability to work together as a team to achieve their goals.
In addition to MSIG Insurance, other sponsors of the 3rd Standard Chartered KL Marathon include the Gold Sponsors: New Balance, 100Plus, Honda, DoubleTree by Hilton and Timex. This year’s media sponsors are NTV7 and the New Straits Times Press which comprise of the New Straits Times, Berita Harian and Harian Metro. The event is sanctioned and supported by the relevant international and local sporting authorities - the Ministry of Youth and Sports (KBS), Malaysia Amateur Athletics Union (MAAU), Federal Territory Amateur Athletic Association (FTAAA), International Amateur Athletic Federation (IAAF), Association of International Marathons and Distance Races (AIMS), and National Fitness Council (NFC).

Sify Home >> Finance >> International >> Using mobile phone for just 15 minutes a day ups brain cancer risk, claims study Share Comments | Share | Print | Rate ANI Using mobile phone for just 15 minutes a day ups brain cancer risk, claims study

A new research has indicated that using a mobile phone for just 15 minutes a day can substantially increase the risk of brain cancer among its users.
A series of studies across 13 countries found that the longer people used their mobile, the higher was the risk.
Elisabeth Cardis, leader of the Interphone Study, said an increased risk of brain tumours, known as gliomas, was seen in the 20 per cent of users with the highest exposure to radio-frequency emissions.
She said there was an increased risk of brain cancer close to where users held the phones to their heads.
Those who had used handsets for 15 minutes a day for seven years, showed a 72 per cent higher incidence of gliomas.
Gliomas are fatal, usually within three to five years of diagnosis, even with treatment.
"This research shows that heavy users are at the biggest risk and that there is a very high increase in the risk of brain cancer from just 15 minutes of mobile phone use. Fifteen minutes is really not that long any more," the Daily Express quoted Graham Lamburn, technical manager at independent watchdog Powerwatch, as saying.
"Many people use their phones for much longer than that each day now. If the indications in this study are right ... then this is a potential timebomb," added Lamburn.
The research comes just two weeks after the World Health Organisation warned for the first time that mobile phones may cause cancer, urging phone owners to limit their use. (ANI)

Is sex the only happy factor in marriage?

AFTER more than a decade of marriage, 40-something Susan* and her husband are still hot in between the sheets. However, all the action in bed is cooling off her feelings for her husband.
“I am tired all the time but he is just insatiable,” she confides.
Outside the bedroom, the two management-level professionals hardly communicate, unless there are problems with their children, or huge bills to settle.
Worse, she says, both are addicted to their smartphones.
“When we are together, our attention is on our phone reading updates and e-mail or just trying out new Apps.”
Although divorce is not on their minds, Susan admits that the romance is missing from their relationship.

Paul Jambunathan, a consultant clinical psychologist at Sunway Medical Centre, says lack of communication between husband and wife is the main cause of extra-marital affairs and divorces.
“The problem starts when the husband and wife start living on different planets and stop sharing their emotions or stop talking about something other than their children, bills and other domestic problems,” says Jambunathan, who is also a senior lecturer at Monash University Malaysia.
In a relationship, there are many variables because it involves two personalities or personas, he says.
“The two personas interact verbally and non-verbally. One of the most important issues in interaction is intimacy. Unfortunately, we have been relating intimacy to sex and equating sex only to sexual intercourse. What I am trying to say is that while sex is integral to a happy marriage, we need to define what sex is. Is it only intercourse?”
As he explains, sex is the sexuality expressed between two people and there is a wide spectrum of sexual behaviour.
“If you have feelings for someone, even touching and holding hands will already make you sexually excited. When you later get married and build on that love you have intercourse, sleep together, talk and spend more time together a different kind of sexual intimacy is built.”
Hence, Jambunathan, who has more than 25 years' experience as a consultant, is vexed by the comments made by the Obedient Wives Club (OWC), which suggested that to keep a man from straying from his marriage, the wife needs to please him in bed like a “first-class prostitute”.
“When couples in trouble seek my advice, they tell me that intercourse and sleeping in the same room do not necessarily help (mend their relationship). Sometimes it even creates complications.”
He stresses that it should not be about intercourse but making love.
“Love is not intercourse as people often equate it to; intercourse is a personal, committed and intricate intimacy but it does not last very long. Usually one hour after the act, the feeling is gone.”
Health research consultant Siti Norazah Zulkifli agrees, saying that sex will not sustain a marriage if there are other major problems.
“Sex, no matter how good, is not the only thing that keeps a marriage happy. Couples choose to marry for various reasons love, attraction (physical and mental), companionship, economics, social expectations, offspring ... Sex is only one reason.
“In tribal cultures, for example, land ownership or the number of cows he or she owns may be a factor. Actually, economics may well be a consideration in modern marriages too, and how important one factor is over another depends on the individual.”
Once married, and especially over time, she says, other factors will contribute towards maintaining happiness in marriage.
This includes whether they meet each other's expectations, how they cope with stressful events and their level of commitment to their marriage, compromises each has to make for the other, whether they “grow apart” as individuals and their marital values.
“Not everyone subscribes to monogamy, for example,” she says.
Siti Norazah nonetheless concedes that in the literature on what makes happy marriages, sex does predominate as a topic of discussion.
“It may seem that most marriages break up because of some sexual issue (notably, sexually unsatisfied husbands). We should be aware, however, that sometimes what is expressed as a sexual problem has its roots in something else, such as failed expectations. For example, if a person feels resentment towards his or her spouse, it will affect his or her sexual desire to that spouse.”
Some people, perhaps men more so, associate sex with love, she points out.
“Some men feel that his wife doesn't love him if she rejects his sexual advances. Equally, a wife would feel the same way if her husband doesn't want to make love to her. In sum, an individual's sexual development is complex, beginning from a young age, and becomes intrinsic to his or her personality.”
Siti Norazah makes an interesting point, highlighting that most of the studies on marriage and sexual attitudes are based on Western ideals.
“We should recognise that people have different sexual attitudes and sex drives. How they were brought up, sexual norms in their society and culture, exposure to external social influences (for example living abroad or the media), their personality, their sex hormone levels (testosterone, notably) and other factors influence how important sex is to them and how they express their sexual needs.”
Still, she feels that in conservative and chauvinistic cultures, men may not want their wife to be sexually aggressive or “act like a prostitute”.
She opines that the OWC prostitute statement will create a gender bias one that will compound the attitude that there are two types of women the ones they will marry and the ones with whom they will have fun (have sex with) but never marry.
“Conversely, girls may be brought up to repress their sexual desire so the message that their husband's happiness depends on her sexual performance puts the blame on her should there be any marital problem.
“For a married couple, it is not sex per se but sexual incompatibility that could breed resentment or dissatisfaction and cause marital problems such as adultery and divorce.”
According to consultant psychologist Valerie Jaques, a study she conducted a number of years ago showed that one of the most significant factors for high marital satisfaction is when there is a greater awareness and accurate perception of the needs of a marriage partner.
“So when the husband is aware of the wife and perceives her needs accurately by effective communication and vice-versa then there is high marital satisfaction.”
She highlights that it is not just intercourse that reflects how good a marriage is, but rather the intimate and mutual sex in the relationship.
“Very often, if one party is upset or hurt with the other and there is a strain in the relationship, there is lack of sexual intimacy in the marriage. This is different from just having sex to fulfil a need,” she shares.
More importantly, stresses Jaques, although sex is one of the many important elements that make up a marriage, it definitely does not mean that marriage is a legal means for a man to rape his wife. Neither should the wife allow the husband to take advantage of her for his needs.
“Many women are made to believe that they do not have rights in their marriage and that only the husband's rights are to be met,” she says.
Jambunathan agrees that a man does not have the right to demand for sex without consideration of the woman's needs and wants.
“He cannot say I want it now, so give it to me. The woman is an equal partner in the relationship and she has a right to decide the level of intimacy and the platform of the relationship.”
He also disputes the belief that men's biological make-up makes them sexual at all ages and that they have high sexual needs until they die.
“As you get older, your body gets older and your biology will not allow you to have intercourse,” he says, highlighting that half of heart patients are men, and that “many cannot get it up because of their medication”.
However, attitude may come into play and corrupt emotions where the emotions are twisted “will make you think you must have intercourse at any age 60, 70, 80 regardless of your partner's wants”, he says.

Best Beds for SXX

Want more and better sex? We've got the solution. Hint: A good romp starts with the right bed and mattress. 

Last spring, the Chicago Sun-Times reported that one-third of adults surveyed would buy a new mattress if they thought it would improve their sex life.

"A good mattress can not only make sex more enjoyable and comfortable, but it also helps you get a better night's sleep," says sex therapist and "Book of Love" author Dr. Laura Berman. "This translates into energy, rest and, hence, an improved sex drive."

Photo: Getty

With all the types of beds and mattresses on the market, it can be hard to narrow down which one will hit the spot. But after a little research, we've figured out the best beds for sex.

Foam May Kill the Mood
The biggest complaint about memory foam is that it gets hot, and it responds to heat by softening. This creates almost a dough-like feeling, which easily kills the mood.

The advantage of a foam mattress for sleeping could be a major disadvantage for getting frisky: There's virtually no bounce. You've all seen the commercial where a person rolls around on a foam mattress while a glass of wine is sits on the bed next to them not moving at all. That's the point. Foam molds around your body and absorbs your movements. Therefore it's tough to maneuver quickly on it and it will sink when pressure is put on it.

For Better Bounce, Try...
A standard (and less expensive) coil mattress will bounce back during the sexy fun, helping to create a rhythm and allowing for more acrobatic movements. There is a disadvantage to coils: Some of your energy will be absorbed in the bounce and you'll have to exert more energy to keep up with the passion (maybe an argument for older folks to favor memory foam). Also as a coil mattress ages, it runs the risk of becoming squeaky, a problem you won't have with foam.

Photo: Getty

For Better Leverage, Reconsider...
Foam. Since foam mattresses mold to your body, they also mold to your partner's, keeping he or she in place. Your partner won't have to brace himself to keep from slipping or moving. This allows you to get into some creative positions without worrying that a limb will go numb.

Beware the Tired Bedframe
Of course the mattress is only one part of the equation for a sexy bed. A good bedframe is equally important in setting the mood. A friend of mine inherited an antique sleigh bed from his grandmother. He thought it would impress the ladies, but it tends to squeak. "Very unsexy," he says. Also, when a bed is mentioned in the same sentence as "grandmother," it loses some romance. But you already knew that.

New beds sometimes can be no better. A disgruntled shopper at a popular furnishings store wrote a long diatribe on Apartment Therapy when he discovered the wooden support slats under his platform bed had broken after a particularly wild night.

Cecile and Gigi, founders of the popular sex and dating blog It's Not Okay to Look, have taken note of various guys' beds over the years, and they have a few ideas about which kinds of beds are best for getting busy. Cecile is a girl who likes comfort. Her lush bed has one of the softest mattresses on the market; it's topped with no less than 12 pillows. But regardless of her bed's comfort -- which in fact, she says is a bit too soft for sex -- Cecile has another problem: Wheels. Her bedframe has, on occasion, cruised around the room during sex.

"Lock them," she advises. "My own bed moves so much, there was one night that I definitely hit all four walls -- it was a good night."

Tips for a Sexier Bed
Cecile's boyfriend sleeps on a futon. When she first met him, it was on the floor. But in the year they've been together, she's been adamant about the need for a frame. It doesn't have to be fancy, she says, but some elevation is necessary and can add to the fun. An elevated bed introduces a whole new set of creative coital positions, including standing ones.

Cecile says that placement is important as well. She doesn't like that her boyfriend's futon is floating in the middle of a room. "Make sure that the bed is against at least one wall," she says. "Sometimes a lady needs to lean against something."

Cecile's co-founder Gigi has her own rules: Twin mattresses are no-no's, and a guy better have more than one pillow. She says that a sturdy, firm mattress and bedframe are essential. "I don't want to hear your headboard slamming against the wall repeatedly and I guarantee your roommates/neighbors/landlord don't want to hear it either," she says.

While the ideal surface and setting are all well and good, sex therapist Brenda Lewis cautions against becoming dependent on external factors to create great intimacy. A couple who already has a great relationship is likely to enjoy themselves no matter the setting. "Sex is not confined to a perfect mattress or lighting," she says, but "creating a setting for intimacy can add to the experience, absolutely."

So light some candles, break out the scented oil, but don't count on your bed alone to improve your sex life.